• Marissa Bognanno

11 Powerful Ways to Call in Your Twin Flame

Let's being with a story. The story of how I found my twin flame -- how we found each other.

I had just returned from living in Italy for eight years, I was separated from my husband and living with my Mom.

Things were, let's say, low.

I had a momentary influx of excitement when I realized I was home for good; this was always something in the back of my mind, a homesickness that permeated my life there.

Then, another bout of joy came when I got my own car, a credit card with rewards (adult!), health insurance and a job that was dynamic and invigorating. I was starting over! This was going to be ok! (I told myself.)

The days passed and I was lonely. Truly. I felt like I was freshly out of college instead of 29 with friends who were married and having babies.

I dated. I lived the experiences that I thought I had missed out on after being in a relationship throughout my entire 20's.

The prospects I met were pedestrian and predictable. This was as depressing as you can imagine it to be, but I had a whole bag of Law of Attraction tips at my disposal and damn it, I was going to use them!

I made my own Twin Flame proclamation one night, out loud,

I will meet my perfect partner who matches me physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally and it's going to be amazing.

Then, magically, we found each other a few months later. It happened one night in a townie bar that neither of us wanted to really go to. He was about to leave, texting a friend, "I never meet anyone interesting," and then I walked over to him, drawn to him, and said, "Hi! What was the best part of your day today?" (I know, kinda dweeby) but he loved it and we talked for hours.

Now, four years later, we have gone through lots of moves, changes, personal transformations, highs and lows. We strive to have a conscious relationship and work on it consistently, knowing that when we better ourselves we also improve the relationship! It hasn't been "easy" but it's been so rewarding, joyful, expansive, mature, and affirming.

Here's what I did before I called him into my life:

Before leaving on our cross country road trip!

1) Quality List

I wrote a very detailed, four-page list of all the things I wanted in a person, right down to his laugh and how he smells and what we talk about at night. Get really specific! It helps the Universe know what to bring you. You can't just say, "a nice person," that's too broad! Ask for what you want, and make sure you do so with utter faith that it's possible. I never once looked over that list and thought that this person didn't exist. Instead, I read it with the conviction that he was out there and I just needed to visualize him clearly and fully in my mind first. Also - keep this exercise light and fun.

2) Couple Appreciation

I was working at a restaurant at the time, and every couple that would come in who really seemed to love each other would catch my eye. I would look at them and feel pure appreciation for their love. I would feel genuinely happy for them! I would go over in my mind repeatedly how sweet they were and how awesome the feeling must be to be out with your person. I will never forget one couple in particular; they were older, sitting on a bench, holding hands and eating an ice cream. I spent the whole day really appreciating them and talking about them with other people. The point here is not to be envious but to instead use it to your advantage and allow it to raise your vibration to that love place!

3) What's There Already

It's important to recognize the love in your life that exists already. The attitude of, "I already have this," tells the energies around you that this isn't anything new or weird or different for you. This makes the whole thing less of a big deal, so you worry about it less. For instance, see all of the people who love you authentically and think about them often. My mom loves me, my friends love me, I have all these experiences in the world with people who show love for me, etc.

4) Daydream, Often

Daydreaming is the best way to use creative visualization. When you daydream you literally see in your mind's eye that which you wish to create. So, get in there like a kid in middle school math class! I did this on walks in the woods. I would imagine in full detail walking with my partner and would get so excited about it that I truly felt like he was there with me in the moment. This sends out the vibration that you have what you want already and the Universe will match that with something physical because it's law. Like attracts like.

5) Ritualize It

One thing I liked to do was create little rituals to call in my love. I would light a candle and sit on my bed with my oracle cards and simply tell the Universe what I wanted. Ritual and ceremony are powerful because during those moments you are so focused on what you want to create and believing in the possibility that it can come to you. It helps your mind to go to a place of strength as opposed to lack. Anything goes here, so do what feels right for you!

6) Stop talking about it not happening

This is something that I learned from Abraham Hicks and it's one worth remembering for anything you want to create in your life. When you find yourself obsessively going over in your mind the thing you don't have, why you don't have it and where the heck it's going to come from -- that's not going to create it for you. On the contrary, it's going to set you back. So, the best thing to do here is to just get your mind off the subject. Slap yourself into another thought à la Cher in Moonstruck, "snap out of it!"

7) Learn Something

Similarly to getting off the subject, learning something new will take your mind to another place when you're spiraling into lack. What's better than curiosity and the joy of exploring the new? You're a passionate, intelligent, interesting person for goodness sake! Finding love isn't about completing yourself; you are already complete and already have everything you need within you. When you expand your mind, you realize this and it helps to take the edge off of meeting someone who will provide your happiness for you.

8) Talk to Your Future Person

Back in the woods, I would have full blown conversations in my head with my love. It was really fun and I promise not weird at all. I liked to imagine these conversations because it made me excited about the person arriving and all the fun we could have together. In the car, I would sometimes have these convos out loud. This tells your body and mind that it's happening now! It's possible for you! It gets you up in that vibrational place of what you want.

9) Try less

When you're trying too hard, you're often trying too hard. I know, that's infuriating, but it's true. All of these tips are great, but if you're forcing them or making yourself do them because you think they will bring you something, then it's not going to work. The point is to learn how to feel better about how your life is going, so if you feel yourself forcing or trying, take a step back and go to step 6.

10) Look for the good

Deliberately comb through your life and find the places in which everything is working out perfectly. Do this right before bed and see how nice it is to drift off to sleep thinking about how good your life is. When you get to the point where you find yourself thinking or saying, "You know what, things are really good right now, I don't care what happens because all of this is great," that's the moment when the person arrives or you get what you've been asking for.

* most importantly* 11) Listen to the Nudges

The night I met Nick, I stood in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. I don't feel like going to this bar. I walked to the bedroom and sat on my bed and just stared. I suddenly had this feeling - it was like a push - and the feeling was to just go to the bar and come home early if it sucks. Just go. The message was very clear. Nick later on told me he felt the same message - a nudge to go and just see what happens. It's important when you're trying to call something in that you listen to the nudges from your soul. It knows how to get you what you want, so listen!


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